The purpose of life is to discover our true nature by pursuing an ever-deepening relationship with ourselves, others, the world around us, and Spirit/God/Shakti. When we live in accord with this calling, we are able to experience the joy and meaning that only comes from knowing oneself deeply and fully. The more we become who we really are by discovering our purpose, the more happiness and fulfillment we’ll find in all aspects of life.
Purpose is the progressive, in the moment, realization of your true Self.
Knowing your purpose is to realize your true self. And you cannot sustain your purpose without also knowing your passion and direction with focus and discipline.
There are two parts to this:
- It’s progressive. It’s not a “once and done” thing where you do it and then forget about it; instead it requires daily revisiting of the connection to your truth and adjusting towards realizing your heart’s desires with every choice you make as an individual in the world (i.e. making sure that each step forward leads you closer to who you are in depth instead of to conforming to the masses).
- It’s in the moment. You don’t have to wait until tomorrow or next week or even next year to start realizing who you are—start now! What stops most from taking steps towards their highest potential is their fear of failure to stay the course and of how to move beyond the obstacles that will come on their path towards living their dreams out loud. Uncertainty is part of the process and the work is to stay present moment by moment by moment by moment. And we sometimes rather think about our dreams while sitting on the couch eating, alone and watching Netflix and we don’t even want to try anymore. Just begin again.
In pursuing your purpose, allow yourself to move through periods of profound uncertainty.
Learn to embrace uncertainty.
To pursue a purpose, you must be willing to move through periods of profound uncertainty. This is your growth opportunity. You must learn how to use it as such and not let it weigh you down or make you afraid of the next step on your journey. If we never ventured out into the unknown, there would be no progress in any field—no need for new inventions or innovations; no exploration of nature’s wonders; no discovery of awesome people, places and things! The things worth doing in life are often difficult, but they are also worth it!
Your deepest purpose should be linked to your family.
The purpose of a family is to provide love, support and security for its members. One’s family offers an unconditional place to belong, where we can be ourselves without fear or shame. When we feel loved by our family members it helps us develop into our true selves, which in turn allows us to live from positive self-esteem rather than negative self-worth. This is a strong, healthy family.
Having a strong family means knowing that all of our needs will be met—that we won’t have to worry about food or shelter or clothing or the comfort of home—and knowing that those around me are taking care of themselves and each other as well (or at least trying). A strong family unit creates an environment where everyone feels safe enough to share their feelings with each other; this leads to greater openness which leads to better communication between all parties involved.
A strong family unit creates a society where others can feels safe enough to share openly with each other; this leads to better communication and has a positive ripple effect on others down the road. A strong family is then not merely a group of people who live together under one roof; it’s also all people who support you when times get tough and celebrate with you in good times.
To serve your children, you must first work on your relationship with your spouse.
In order for you to be a good father, you must have a strong relationship with your spouse. If there’s no spark left in your marriage, then how can you expect the same passion and enthusiasm for life that comes from the love of your wife?
I believe that sex is one of the most important keys to keeping a marriage alive and well. Sex should never be just an obligation for either partner; it should always be an act of love. If spouses are having trouble connecting romantically because they feel like they don’t know each other anymore, then try one (or all) of these:
- Take time for romance on a regular basis. Think weekly date. If you have kids and have to stay at home for any reason, you can still set time aside for just the two of you. Dinner date in or movie night in bed are two ways to do that.
- Don’t forget about physical intimacy—and it doesn’t have to include intercourse every time! Just be close and touch. A massage or holding hands through the day can build closeness.
- Take the risk to be vulnerable and keep communication open between the two of you. Especially when it breaks down. When that happens, repair and then return to connection.
To serve your spouse, you must first work on your relationship with yourself.
A person who is focused on their own needs and desires will be a much better partner than someone who focuses exclusively on the needs and desires of others. This is especially true when it comes to marriage.
A husband has a commitment to love his wife in a way that fulfills her deepest yearnings for security, stability, protection and affection and in a way that serves her heart’s desires and her spiritual growth. But what about his own needs? How does he meet those?
A man must first know himself well enough to recognize what makes him happy or sad; what gives him joy or pain; what satisfies him or leaves him unsatisfied; where his talents lie and how best he can use them; where he struggles with temptation and how he might overcome it; any physical ailments that may cause him discomfort or trouble… If he doesn’t know these things about himself then how can he expect his wife (or anyone really) to fully understand him?
Once he has discovered his inner life—what makes him tick—he must learn how communicate this information effectively with those around him. This includes his spouse but also extends beyond them: to his parents, siblings, friends…
Does staying true to one’s calling mean family sometimes takes a backseat?
As a young man, you may be tempted to put your calling on the backburner in order to focus on family. It’s natural that your wife and children come first if you’re married and have them—but never at the expense of neglecting your purpose.
If you feel called to be a father and husband, then serve the world by being the best husband and father that you can possibly be! This calling is not an excuse for putting off what is important to you alone for another time. If anything, it should be an encouragement for actualizing all you can be and serving others as much as possible now.
If you want your children to follow their heart, lead the way by setting an example.
If you want your children to follow their hearts, lead the way by setting an example. You are a leader in your family, and your wife and children will look to you for guidance. Think about how you can be an example of someone who follows his dreams, even when it’s difficult, with a positive attitude and a strong work ethic, all while being a loving presence at home—and be ready to help them along the way whenever they need it.
Fathers have always been leaders in their families; they are teachers and protectors and role models who teach their kids how to be good people through what they say and do. Fathers are also mentors—they show us how men love and support women in society by encouraging them at home instead of trying to control them in any way.
We all have dreams that inspire us on our path toward adulthood: becoming an world changer; learning martial arts; being able to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix; getting rich from inventing something like Velcro™ so we don’t have any money worries (or shoe tying issues ever again…the list goes on and on!
I want to leave you with a final thought: if you want your children to be good humans and also follow their heart, lead the way by setting the example. Show them that there is no greater satisfaction than pursuing your calling with passion and purpose while living impeccably in family. You will be proud and full of joy when they follow suit!
Arturo Ruiz Coaching 