The Self-validation Wound

The Self-validation wound is deep and is caused by the invalidation of any part of one’s existence early in life. You might not have felt safe or understood by the people who were supposed to take care of you. It can also happen later in life if your environment is not conducive to self-expression.

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If a child has not been validated, they can have a deep-seated wound.

Validation is not the same as approval. Approval is an external judgment of something, while validation is about accepting someone for who they are. It’s also about accepting someone for what they think, feel, and do–even if you don’t agree with it or like it.

If a child is not validated in this way early in life by parents or caregivers, then that child might develop a deep-seated wound around feeling worthy and accepted by others as well as within themselves. This can lead to shame-based patterns such as perfectionism or self-criticism that are often unconscious but which have huge implications for how we relate to ourselves and others throughout our lives

These wounds impact our ability to be in healthy relationships.

The self-validation wound impacts our ability to be healthy in relationship. It impacts our ability to love others and ourselves, as well as how we see the world around us.

If you have this wound, it can make it difficult or impossible for you to receive love from others because of your neediness and fear of abandonment. You may feel like there is something wrong with other people’s love or that they don’t really care about you at all–or even worse: that they are using their love as a weapon against you! This sense of mistrust leaves no room for trust, which prevents any kind of real connection from forming between two people who share this issue together (whether romantic partners or friends).

The self-validation wound is about feeling inherently unlovable and unable to be accepted for who we are.

The self-validation wound is about feeling inherently unlovable and unable to be accepted for who we are.

It’s a deep sense of shame that we carry inside us, but it’s not our fault. It happened when we did not receive validation from others as children, which then leads to an inability to validate ourselves later in life.

The wound later in life becomes about feeling unable to accept yourself unconditionally: you can’t love yourself without having someone else tell you that they love you first, even if they don’t mean it or aren’t good at showing their affectionate feelings towards others (e.g., your partner).

Self-validation is not about being arrogant or believing you’re better than others.

Self-validation is not about being an arrogant person or believing that you’re better than other people. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: self-validation allows us to transcend and include all parts of ourselves–no matter how dark or shameful they seem.

So when we say that someone has a “self-validation wound,” what do we mean? It means there’s something inside them that they don’t accept as part of their true identity. This could be anything from feeling like they’re not good enough at something (like drawing) because they were told they weren’t talented as a child; to believing their intuition isn’t trustworthy because their parents didn’t listen when they said something was wrong; or even just being afraid to show affection in public because it makes them feel vulnerable.

Self-acceptance is the first step towards self-love.

Self-acceptance is the first step towards self-love.

Self-acceptance isn’t about being arrogant or believing you’re better than other people; it’s about accepting yourself unconditionally. When you can do this, you will be able to love yourself and others unconditionally too.

It’s important to accept yourself unconditionally so that you can love yourself and develop healthy relationships with others.

Acceptance necessitates self-love. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being authentic. It’s not about approval, it’s about unconditional love.

When you accept yourself unconditionally and learn to be comfortable in your own skin, then you can start loving yourself more fully–and this will enable you to develop healthy relationships with others as well!


If you feel like you have a self-validation wound, there is hope. You can heal from this deep-seated hurt and learn how to accept yourself unconditionally. The first step is in recognizing the symptoms of this type of wounding and then moving towards healing yourself.

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The True Purpose to Being Fit and Healthy

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Being physically fit is not just a way to stay healthy. It’s a way to express yourself and gain the respect of others. You don’t have to be muscular, but you should be able to do something that can impress others.


Being fit allows you to continue to participate in active play

Being fit allows you to continue to participate in active play. Physical play is important for children and parents alike, as it helps strengthen the parent-child bond. Participation in physical activity can help build trust between parents and their children, which will benefit them both throughout the everchanging rhythms and staes of life.

Bond with your children

Bonding is the process of forming a secure attachment between you and your children. The more you bond with them, the more they feel loved, secure and confident in themselves. Bonding can happen anywhere at any time — especially while playing!

When we play with our children, we are not only helping them develop new skills (such as throwing a ball) but also helping them learn how to be part of an interactive group environment. This will give them confidence when interacting with others outside of their immediate family unit.

Bonding with your child is not just about spending time with them. It’s about doing activities together that help you both grow and learn new things. You can bond with your children through play by:

-Playing a game of tag or hide-and-go-seek (of they’re young)

-Playing a sport

-Having a dance party

-Taking them on an adventure or long walk in nature or at the park

Model healthy habits

Model healthy habits, and your children will follow suit.

  • Healthy habits are contagious. Children learn from their parents thorugh observation adn osmosis. If you’re in good shape, they will want to be like you.
  • If you want your kids to eat better or exercise more often, start by making some changes yourself first! For example: if your child loves pizza, make a homemade version of it instead of buying frozen pizza at the grocery store. This way they’ll get excited about trying something new–and it’s often healthier than ordering out!

If you are trying to lose weight, do it gradually. Big weight-loss goals often lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead of setting a goal for pounds lost in a certain amount of time, focus on celebrating small changes that help you achieve your goals over time–like exercising more and/or eating fewer processed foods.

Helps parents manage the challenges of parenting better

Being fit and healthy is not just about looking good. It also helps parents manage the challenges of parenting better, which in turn allows them to grow as a parent and develop better personal habits. This can be done by improving your ability to manage yourself so that you are more emotionally present for your children. Developing your body demands that you upgrade your mindset and manage strong emotions and the physiological benefits you get from proper exercise and nutrition (such as uplifted mood, more energy, and reduction in stress) allow your mind to be more free to attend to what matters most.

Creates the conditions to be emotionally present for your children

Emotional presence is non-negotiable for a child’s growth.

You can’t be physically present in the room and not emotionally present at the same time and expect your kids to benefit from your gifts. If you choose physical presence over emotional presence, your kids are going to be hurt by it. That doesn’t mean they’ll get hurt every time; sometimes they’ll be fine with it because there aren’t any big issues going on in their lives at that moment (or maybe even ever). But if there are big issues going on in their lives–if something big happened at school or with friends–they will feel your absence acutely and notice that something was missing from your interaction with them: namely, an emotional connection between parent and child that would have helped them through a difficult time.

Empowers you to be strong and have integrated wellness for greater healthspan and longevity.

The true purpose of physical fitness is to empower you to be strong and have integrated wellness for greater healthspan and longevity.

Healthspan is the time that you are healthy and in good physical condition. Longevity is a measure of the length of time you live. The more physically fit you are, the better your healthspan and longevity will be and the more you and your children will be able to enjoy each other’s company. Remeber that your genetics do not have to determine healthspan or longevity; you can be change that through good nutrition and the right exercise!


The benefits of being fit and healthy are endless. In addition to feeling better and having more energy, you can also enjoy a closer bond with your children and model healthy habits for them. Being fit empowers parents to be emotionally present for their kids, which helps create a positive environment where everyone feels safe and supported. And finally, being physically healthy and active allows parents an vehicle for managing the challenges of parenting (and life) better which benefits everyone around you!

The Divine Matriarch

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

Elephant.

As a child raised by a single mother, the feminine has a strong presence in my life just as it does in an elephant herd. Along with that, and possibly more impressive to my psyche, is that elephants are tremendously spiritual animals. There’s a connection to something beyond the mundane that’s apparent in their behavior (revisiting their deceased family, mourning the loss of even human counterparts – the Elephant Whisperer).

I recently was gifted a trip to The Elephant Preserve in Fredericksburg, TX and got to put my hands on and look into the eyes of 3 Indian Elephants. I cannot explain the way that theses animals seemed to be fully present in body, but within their eyes seemed to exist on another completely different plane at the same time.

In a men’s group that I am a part of, I’ve chosen an animal name to Emory this essence. Noble Elephant.

This is who I often believe myself to be. Here but gone. Deeply connected to family and spirit. Guided largely by he feminine divine.

Silence and Source

We live in a world where we can’t help but be influenced by other people’s opinions and ideas, leading us away from our innate guidance. It’s time for us to stop listening to others and start listening to ourselves. Listening to our inner voice requires us to be silent in order to hear it; this is where Source lies waiting for us when we take the time to listen carefully enough to hear its whisperings.


One of the greatest challenges in life is not to conquer an opponent, but to win the battle within your own mind.

One of the greatest challenges in life is not to conquer an external opponent, but to fight and win the battle within your own mind.

If you are anything like me, then this is something that has probably happened many times before: you decide that it would be a good idea for you to meditate on a regular basis–maybe even daily–but somehow it never seems to happen. Your mind keeps thinking about all sorts of things that are not related at all with meditation (or whatever else it may be). The result? You end up quitting instead of doing what needs to be done!

So what if this was an integral part of meditation? What if learning to step back from the chatter and return to presence was the practice? And how can we master our minds so they help us to be productive?

Our minds are constantly creating thoughts and emotions that seem like they are reality.

Our minds are powerful tools. They constantly process information and create thoughts and emotions, which can be used for benefit or distraction. Our minds have the ability to make us happy, sad, angry or afraid–all depending on what we choose to focus on.

We’ve all heard the phrase “a moment of silence.” This is because silence provides an opportunity for our minds to rest from their constant activity so that we can connect with ourselves in an authentic way. In silence, we learn how our bodies feel when they’re not busy thinking about something else; we notice how our breath feels as it moves through our body; we hear sounds around us without judgmental labels like “annoying” or “loud”; we allow ourselves time just being present with whatever is going on right now without adding anything extra onto it through a meaning we create around it (our own personal narrative). 

Silence allows us access into a deeper part of ourselves than usual because there aren’t any distractions coming from outside sources: no phones ringing off the hook or emails demanding attention; no television shows beckoning us into another world we’d rather live in; no coworkers chatting away at their desks next door while yours sits empty due to sickness or simply not wanting to go to work.

Knowing our inner voice requires us to be silent.

Silence is the key that unlocks the door between our worldly selves and our true nature. It allows us to experience who we really are beyond all concepts, images, words and formulas. Silence is where Source lies waiting for us when we take the time to listen carefully enough to hear its whisperings.

Silence gives rise to creativity because it allows us access into a deep place within ourselves where ideas can flow freely without interference from outside influences or distractions such as noise or other people’s opinions of what should be done next in order for something creative (or even just new) to happen in life!

Whether or not you’re consciously aware of it, you probably have an idea about your purpose here on Earth and what you want.

Whether or not you’re consciously aware of it, you probably have an idea about who you are as a person, your purpose here on Earth, and what you want out of life. Your preferences and values help define who you are and can be used to guide the choices that shape your future. They also form part of the foundation for any relationships that matter in your life–friends and family members will share some common values with each other.

You might think of values as being like a compass: they show us which direction to go at any given point in time (or even over time). They don’t tell us exactly where we’ll end up but instead provide guidance along our journey towards wherever it may lead us

Silence is the key that unlocks the door between our worldly selves and our true nature; this is where Source lies waiting for us…

Silence is the key that unlocks the door between our worldly selves and our true nature; it allows us to experience who we really are beyond all concepts, images, words and formulas; this is where Source lies waiting for us when we take the time to listen carefully enough to hear its whisperings.

When you listen with silence, you can hear what your heart has been saying all along. Silence will give you permission to feel and BE love without having to do anything–it’s okay just being yourself without needing anything else from yourself or others in order for them (or even yourself) to accept who you are as a person living in this world today!

Silence also helps us understand how much more there is out there than meets our eye. It gives us access into realms which most people never get near during their lifetime because they’re too busy trying so hard not only survive but also strive within their own world rather than step outside those boundaries to see if there might be something better waiting…”


So, what does this mean for you?

If you’re looking for a way to reconnect with yourself and to experience the world in a new way, silence is a direct path there. It can be difficult at first but with practice, it becomes easier and more natural. You don’t need anything special–just some quiet time when you won’t be interrupted as you go inside of yourself or yo can go for a walk in nature where the noise pollution from cars or people talking is absent. It doesn’t matter where or when as long as there aren’t any distractions around; just sit quietly until something new yet familiar rises within yourself and you feel wholly connected once again!

The Loving Masculine Challenge of Lifting Heavy

In a world where most men are afraid of being seen as weak, many miss the obvious opportunity to develop inner strength.

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Lifting heavy objects is a powerful way to build strength and endurance, but it’s also a metaphor for how you deal with challenges in your life. By lifting something that feels difficult or impossible at first, you’re learning what it takes to overcome obstacles—and that gives you the strength to overcome adversity and achieve your goals.


Lifting heavy strengthens much more than the body

Lifting heavy weights is a phenomenal way to build strength, but it also has many other benefits. Here are some of the ways that lifting heavy can help you be more confident and powerful:

  • Strength training helps you develop unshakeable grit. You’ll learn how to push through difficult emotions and situations with clarity and grace because your body will know what it needs to do in order for you to succeed–it just takes practice!
  • Lifting heavy weights improves posture, which makes you feel more confident when walking around or talking to people.

Strength training allows you to feel full of energy without having to rely on sugar or caffeine (which can make you crash) in order to get through your day. Strength training helps you build lean muscle mass, which increases your metabolism and helps burn fat.

Lifting heavy weights makes you feel powerful within, making you more confident to go for what you want in life. You’ll be able to do things that you never thought possible and achieve goals that once seemed unattainable.

Respect your limits and take on challenges that are just past the edge of them.

As a man, you must respect your limits and challenge yourself to what is just past the edge of them. By doing so, you will learn about yourself and grow as a man, living to your fullest capacity.

If you’re new to lifting or have been lifting for some time but aren’t getting anywhere past what is comfortable for you, it’s time to step out into unfamiliar territory:

  • Know Your Limits: There are many ways to do this–many approaches or loading schemes. You can use progressive overload (increasing weight over time), use different rep ranges (high reps vs low reps), try new exercises or variations on old ones, or simply use your body weight in challenging ways–but whatever method works best for you is fine as long as you get results!
  • Respect Your Limits: If something doesn’t feel right during a lift (or any physical activity), stop! Don’t push through pain just because someone told you not too long ago; listen closely to your body and trust yourself when something seems off. Lift as much as you can safely lift versus lifting dangerously. Be dangerous, not dumb.

Often our fears are not about the physical challenge at all, but about fear itself or about the anxiety of an unknown future or about something else entirely.

But fear is a funny thing. Often our fears are not about the physical challenge at all, but about fear itself or about the anxiety of an unknown future or about something else entirely. Fear can be paralyzing and it’s important to identify what the fears you have are surrounding a challenge so that you can address them and move forward with confidence. Sometimes, just giving it a name is enough to dis-integrate the hold it has on us.

Lifting heavy things actually help us build up our inner and outer strength over time because each time we do it we’re reminded:* There is always more inside me than my mind believes.* The only way out is through.* We all have the potential within us; we simply need practice.*

Your body can be a powerful vehicle for life and for living with meaning, purpose and passion.

Your body is the only vehicle that moves us through our lifespan. From birth to death, it is the only vehicle we have to maneuver through this world.

The loving masculine challenge of lifting heavy things is about using your physical capacity as an anchor point from which to explore these aspects of your body, your mind, and yourself so that you may express them more fully in your life experience.

This is the essence of the masculine challenge. It is not about having 20″ biceps or being able to bench press 300 pounds—although that’s cool too. It’s about using your body as a vehicle for exploring who you are, what you want from life, and what you’re capable of.


If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you want to live a life that is full of meaning and purpose. If so, then I challenge you to think about what it means to be a man who finds strength — in part — through lifting heavy.

The body is the only vehicle through which we move through our lifespan–it’s also a vehicle for living with meaning, purpose and passion; love, truth and respect; joy, happiness and gratitude. We cannot separate these things from our physical existence because they are part of being human beings in this world together as men (and women).

Winter Has a Tendency to Slow Things Down

Winter is an often-overlooked season. It’s not exactly inspiring, with its short days and grey skies. But winter can be incredibly uplifting — especially when you’re forced to stay indoors and find ways to keep moving your dreams forward while waiting for spring. So use this cold season as a chance to grow stronger in every way that matters.


The days are short and the grey skies seem to stretch on forever.

Winter has a tendency to slow things down. The days are short and the grey skies seem to stretch on forever. This makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning, especially if you’re not feeling well or if you’ve got a heavy workload at school or at work. The prospect of going into work when it’s cold outside can be very depressing, especially if you have a job that is highly demanding or doesn’t require much mental effort. You may feel like nothing is getting accomplished, even though you’re putting in the footwork.

So what do we do? As one of my friends put it: “Do more.”

The winter months aren’t easy for everyone; some people (like the guy writing this post) find them more difficult than others. But I believe there is no better time than now for us all to take action toward making the world better than its ever been (beginning with us)—and if not now, then when? It’s up to each individual person how they choose to make their own mark on history and how they will care for and bolster themselves along the way. But whatever path you choose, know that there are others out there who care about doing good work too and will walk that journey with you – so let us step forward regardless of the season!

Winter may not be inherently inspiring, but you can make it incredibly motivating.

Winter may not be buzzing with excitement, but you can create incredible motivation. Winter is a time of rest and recovery; a chance to focus on inner growth; a chance to find your inner strength and foundation for the year to come; an opportunity to work on your fitness, mental health, resilience, and so much more.

What are you going to choose for this time?

There will be plenty of time for progress in the spring.

Now that the days are shorter and colder, you may have been tempted to put your fitness routine on ice. But don’t give into those thoughts! Spring will come again—and it’ll be here before you know it. There’s no reason why a winter workout plan can’t work just as well in the springtime.

With this in mind, here are some tips for keeping your exercise regimen going through the winter months:

  • Use an indoor treadmill or rower if possible; if not and there’s snow on the ground, make a snowman with your kids or the neighborhood kids or start a snowball fight.
  • Try a new form of movement to challenge your brain and body. Modalities such as MoveNat and Primal Play can be unconventional for most and exactly what’s needed if you find yourself in a winter rut.
  • Stay home and try out a gymnastics move. Holding a solid 60 second handstand is a feet for most and can be fun to learn.

Winter is a reminder to find inspiration from our inner being instead of what is going on around us.

Winter has a tendency to slow things down, and we need to find inspiration from our inner being instead of searching around us for it. Our thoughts, feelings and ideas can be an important source of motivation. We need to be able to find stillness within and trust in ourselves and to listen to the silence to allow feeling positive and inspiration. We must also acknowledge that things do get better when we stay focused on the long game or life that we want.


My wish for you is that this has stirred up some ideas within you to help you thrive as we finish these last few weeks of winter. There’s no doubt that winter can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be a dead end. By finding inspiration within yourself, reflecting on your dreams and heart’s desires, and connecting with the people around you, you will emerge from this cold season stronger, wiser, and better than ever before.

Hats Off to All Those Fighting Battles No One Knows About

The best way to describe depression and anxiety is that it’s like being stuck in the house with a storm raging outside. Your mind begins to play tricks on you, convincing you that there’s no way out of this situation—that you’ll never be able to enjoy life again. And so, you do nothing at all. This can go on for weeks or even months before you get help, if ever. But what if there was someone who could help guide them through their journey? Well, as it turns out there are people just like that but they’re not therapists or psychiatrists—they’re people who have gone through it themselves and now want to help others going through similar things:


The battle you fight is your stand.

I’ve learned that in life battles are not always the physical ones we may be trained to expect. Not even close. Most battles are mental, emotional, and/or spiritual struggles that make us question our beliefs.

When I think about my own battles, I remember how hard they were for me in the beginning. The mental and emotional pain was intense and relentless; there was no awareness of anything but suffering and agony. Sometimes it still feels like there isn’t any room left over for anything else —but I’ve faced enough to know that there is another side to my struggles! Even if it takes some time getting used to feeling comfortable with yourself again after having been through something largely difficult (or even just something slightly difficult), there will come a point when this space starts filling up again with things that inspire and bring joy: hobbies and interests; friendships with loved ones; new things learned at school or work; purpose!

But no matter what your battle looks like, know that it is yours to find the other side of. You alone have the power to decide how you face it—and whether or not you will keep fighting it at all.

Everyone has a battle of their own.

You can’t know what someone else is dealing with, and you can’t rightly judge them for what you don’t know of them. You don’t know how they got there, or how long they have been there. What you do know is that you may be going through something too. Someone else may be struggling very much in the same way as you—and maybe even more—but maybe their struggle isn’t visible on the outside like yours might be. It’s okay not to see eye-to-eye or get along all of the time; it’s okay not to agree with each other 100% because no one agrees with anyone all of the time (or even at all). But as long as we keep an compassionate heart and open mind, understanding will always win over judgement and negativity!

Grit is an asset in the field of life.

There are many ways to use grit. There’s the way that allows you to keep going when faced with a seemingly insurmountable physical challenge, like climbing a cliffside or running a marathon. Grit can also be applied to everyday life, such as getting up at four in the morning to go after your dreams before work instead of sleeping in and going through your emails or social media feeds.

Grit is not only perseverance; it’s part purpose and part passion. An athlete, for example, can win by sheer force alone or through their drive and a love for what they do —and if they don’t have a high level of passion, then why exactly are they trying so hard?

Sometimes, walking alone is the only way to get where you need to be.

Sometimes, walking alone is the only way to get where you need to be. When you are in a team of people and everyone has their own ideas and opinions, it can often feel like there is no consensus and when one is reached, it is by default so as not to muddy the water. You might feel stuck because everyone else isn’t on board with the loudest voice. When this happens, it’s best not to force it but rather take time for yourself and just walk away for a bit. You will learn deeply about yourself in those moments; what you want out of life, how far you’re willing to go for your goals and ambitions, who truly believes in them besides yourself—and whether or not you want them on your journey.

It’s in these moments of solitude when we reflect on ourselves (and our goals), we are able walk away from negativity (even if it’s our own) which leads us closer to our joy and belief in self.

Being out in the world on your own can feel like an uphill battle.

Stepping out of the mainstream and being in the world alone can feel like an uphill battle. It’s hard to be a solo warrior, especially if you’re new to self-awareness. You are the only one responsible for your own understanding and growth, and when it comes to being aware of your inner strengths, there’s no one else who can tell you what that looks or feels like. You have to know it for yourself by using the tools that work best for you.

To make peace with yourself is to win over any battle.

You are not alone. There are many others who have been through something similar to you, and you’re allowed to feel proud of yourself for moving forward in spite of your challenges. It’s also important to remember that no matter what happens, you don’t have to deal with it alone. You can seek help from friends and family, or, if needed, from a professional such as a therapist, mentor, or coach. As long as the person is someone who gives support and love unconditionally, you will find peace. If your supporter cannot be there with you, take the next best step and bring their presence to mind. Remind yourself about why and how much they care about you! Generate the positive emotions that you associate with this person.

It takes courage to be a warrior who walks alone.

Men can often be afraid of being alone in their direction and choose to follow or idolize someone who takes them down a path that leads away from personal truth. They don’t realize that it takes more courage to walk alone than it does to follow someone who shows you a way of life that is can only be carbon copied! These men end up regretting the moments spent walking another’s path.

It takes courage to stand alone against an army of people who say otherwise (aka society and convention). But when you look at those around you, who are following the “rules” and, in truth, are doing things they don’t want because they think it’s their only option, you will begin to wonder who has any real freedom?


In conclusion, the most important thing to remember is that you do not have to win every battle. As long as you stand for something personal to you and work towards it, the victory is yours. Despite what many people think about peace, it does not necessarily mean that there are no battles in life. Rather, peace means having the courage to stand in your own battles and not let them defeat you.

Finding Balance as We Pursue Our Dreams

The first of the new year is a time for new beginnings, for setting goals, and for pursuing dreams. It’s exciting…and also terrifying! Sometimes it feels like we’re being pulled in every direction at once, especially when we’re trying to accomplish more than one thing (or many things) at once. But balance is key: having too much focus on one thing can result in burnout or frustration if you don’t maintain a healthy balance between all aspects of your life—family, friends, work, etc.

Many people see the new year as a fresh start.

The new year is a time for reflection and change. Many people see it as a fresh start, and the perfect time to make resolutions or try something new. But sometimes, too many changes can be overwhelming—especially if you’re a perfectionist like me! In this section of my blog post, I want to share some tips on how we can find balance as we pursue our dreams without sacrificing our happiness or sanity along the way.

I think balance is especially important in our lives today because we live in a world that seems designed to drive us mad by constantly demanding more from us: more productivity at work; more “likes” on social media; more engagement with friends; etc., etc., etc. We’re told that anything less than constant workaholism means that you’re lazy or unproductive (and probably eating Cheetos for breakfast).

It’s easy for all this pressure to get to us sometimes…but there are ways we can manage it so it doesn’t overwhelm us completely! That’s why I’ve written this post about finding balance as we pursue our dreams (or any other goal), which includes some general tips about how best do so successfully.

Many start the year with a list of goals that relate to fitness and health.

Many start the year with a list of goals that relate to fitness and health. These can include things like running a 5K, beginning a new diet, or taking a yoga class.

As you embark on your journey, it’s important to remember that setting intentions is different from setting goals. Goals are what we want, intentions are how we get there. When we set an intention instead of a goal, we shift our mindset from focused on achievement to one that is more open and accepting of where life takes us next.

For example: If your intention was “I want to run five miles,” but then on week two you were met with pain in your foot or shin splints that keep you out, it might feel like failure has set in if you let those obstacles derail your progress towards completing those five miles.

On the other hand, if instead you said “I am committed each morning to at least moving my body,” then even if something comes up or doesn’t go as planned (like injury), this doesn’t take away from your commitment over time.

(Want more guidance? Check out Mark Sisson’s book The Primal Blueprint.)

When you set out after your goals (intentions), make sure that you’re doing so with a balanced mindset.

When you set out after your goals (intentions), make sure that you’re doing so with a balanced mindset. This means focusing on what you can control, not what you can’t; staying focused on process, not outcome; and making sure that you have a plan for dealing with setbacks. A balanced mindset also means remembering to “fail forward”, as the saying goes—accepting failure as part of the process—while staying flexible and spontaneous.

Lastly, remember how to play! Be open-minded about new ideas and experiences, even if they seem far removed from your original intent or plan.

Play brings us joy and makes us feel alive.

In addition to making us feel alive, play also has the potential to help us achieve our health and fitness goals. When we are having fun, we are more likely to participate in physical activity. For example, if you’re going for a walk with your best friend or playing tag outside with your kids, you’ll enjoy it more than if you were doing those things alone because there will be something else contributing positively toward your overall well-being.

It can be easy to get so caught up in being productive that we forget about taking time for ourselves or having fun—so make sure that you don’t let this happen! If possible, try incorporating some type of play into your daily routine each day (even if it is just taking five minutes out of every hour). This might mean going dancing with friends on Friday nights instead of watching Netflix at home while eating takeout all weekend long; maybe go hiking with family instead of bringing work home every day; perhaps even attend an improv class once a week instead of hitting the gym solo each morning before work? Whatever it is that makes sense for YOU individually will probably benefit both physically and mentally!

Maintaining balance can help keep you motivated, which will help you keep your resolve.

It is important to develop a balance between being a professional and having a normal life. You can start by following some simple rules:

  • You can’t work all the time, so make sure you set aside some time for fun and relaxation. This will help keep your stress levels down and help avoid burnout, which can lead to quitting or giving up on your dream altogether.
  • Set goals for yourself that correlate directly with the project at hand; this way, it’s easier to stay on track without getting distracted by other projects or tasks (which may not be as important at that moment).
  • Take breaks regularly throughout the day; don’t keep working until you hit a wall!

We all have dreams and goals. As we try to pursue these dreams, it’s easy for the day-to-day grind to get in the way. It’s easy for our priorities to shift from what makes us happy, to what makes others happy. But when we focus on doing what brings us joy and fulfillment too, rather than just making money or meeting expectations, we can find that sweet spot between passion and reality—and balance in life!

Purpose, Fatherhood, & Family


The purpose of life is to discover our true nature by pursuing an ever-deepening relationship with ourselves, others, the world around us, and Spirit/God/Shakti. When we live in accord with this calling, we are able to experience the joy and meaning that only comes from knowing oneself deeply and fully. The more we become who we really are by discovering our purpose, the more happiness and fulfillment we’ll find in all aspects of life.

Purpose is the progressive, in the moment, realization of your true Self.

Knowing your purpose is to realize your true self. And you cannot sustain your purpose without also knowing your passion and direction with focus and discipline.

There are two parts to this:

  • It’s progressive. It’s not a “once and done” thing where you do it and then forget about it; instead it requires daily revisiting of the connection to your truth and adjusting towards realizing your heart’s desires with every choice you make as an individual in the world (i.e. making sure that each step forward leads you closer to who you are in depth instead of to conforming to the masses).
  • It’s in the moment. You don’t have to wait until tomorrow or next week or even next year to start realizing who you are—start now! What stops most from taking steps towards their highest potential is their fear of failure to stay the course and of how to move beyond the obstacles that will come on their path towards living their dreams out loud. Uncertainty is part of the process and the work is to stay present moment by moment by moment by moment. And we sometimes rather think about our dreams while sitting on the couch eating, alone and watching Netflix and we don’t even want to try anymore. Just begin again.

In pursuing your purpose, allow yourself to move through periods of profound uncertainty.

Learn to embrace uncertainty.

To pursue a purpose, you must be willing to move through periods of profound uncertainty. This is your growth opportunity. You must learn how to use it as such and not let it weigh you down or make you afraid of the next step on your journey. If we never ventured out into the unknown, there would be no progress in any field—no need for new inventions or innovations; no exploration of nature’s wonders; no discovery of awesome people, places and things! The things worth doing in life are often difficult, but they are also worth it!

Your deepest purpose should be linked to your family.

The purpose of a family is to provide love, support and security for its members. One’s family offers an unconditional place to belong, where we can be ourselves without fear or shame. When we feel loved by our family members it helps us develop into our true selves, which in turn allows us to live from positive self-esteem rather than negative self-worth. This is a strong, healthy family.

Having a strong family means knowing that all of our needs will be met—that we won’t have to worry about food or shelter or clothing or the comfort of home—and knowing that those around me are taking care of themselves and each other as well (or at least trying). A strong family unit creates an environment where everyone feels safe enough to share their feelings with each other; this leads to greater openness which leads to better communication between all parties involved.

A strong family unit creates a society where others can feels safe enough to share openly with each other; this leads to better communication and has a positive ripple effect on others down the road. A strong family is then not merely a group of people who live together under one roof; it’s also all people who support you when times get tough and celebrate with you in good times.

To serve your children, you must first work on your relationship with your spouse.

In order for you to be a good father, you must have a strong relationship with your spouse. If there’s no spark left in your marriage, then how can you expect the same passion and enthusiasm for life that comes from the love of your wife?

I believe that sex is one of the most important keys to keeping a marriage alive and well. Sex should never be just an obligation for either partner; it should always be an act of love. If spouses are having trouble connecting romantically because they feel like they don’t know each other anymore, then try one (or all) of these:

  • Take time for romance on a regular basis. Think weekly date. If you have kids and have to stay at home for any reason, you can still set time aside for just the two of you. Dinner date in or movie night in bed are two ways to do that.
  • Don’t forget about physical intimacy—and it doesn’t have to include intercourse every time! Just be close and touch. A massage or holding hands through the day can build closeness.
  • Take the risk to be vulnerable and keep communication open between the two of you. Especially when it breaks down. When that happens, repair and then return to connection.

To serve your spouse, you must first work on your relationship with yourself.

A person who is focused on their own needs and desires will be a much better partner than someone who focuses exclusively on the needs and desires of others. This is especially true when it comes to marriage.

A husband has a commitment to love his wife in a way that fulfills her deepest yearnings for security, stability, protection and affection and in a way that serves her heart’s desires and her spiritual growth. But what about his own needs? How does he meet those?

A man must first know himself well enough to recognize what makes him happy or sad; what gives him joy or pain; what satisfies him or leaves him unsatisfied; where his talents lie and how best he can use them; where he struggles with temptation and how he might overcome it; any physical ailments that may cause him discomfort or trouble… If he doesn’t know these things about himself then how can he expect his wife (or anyone really) to fully understand him?

Once he has discovered his inner life—what makes him tick—he must learn how communicate this information effectively with those around him. This includes his spouse but also extends beyond them: to his parents, siblings, friends​…

Does staying true to one’s calling mean family sometimes takes a backseat?

As a young man, you may be tempted to put your calling on the backburner in order to focus on family. It’s natural that your wife and children come first if you’re married and have them—but never at the expense of neglecting your purpose.

If you feel called to be a father and husband, then serve the world by being the best husband and father that you can possibly be! This calling is not an excuse for putting off what is important to you alone for another time. If anything, it should be an encouragement for actualizing all you can be and serving others as much as possible now.

If you want your children to follow their heart, lead the way by setting an example.

If you want your children to follow their hearts, lead the way by setting an example. You are a leader in your family, and your wife and children will look to you for guidance. Think about how you can be an example of someone who follows his dreams, even when it’s difficult, with a positive attitude and a strong work ethic, all while being a loving presence at home—and be ready to help them along the way whenever they need it.

Fathers have always been leaders in their families; they are teachers and protectors and role models who teach their kids how to be good people through what they say and do. Fathers are also mentors—they show us how men love and support women in society by encouraging them at home instead of trying to control them in any way.

We all have dreams that inspire us on our path toward adulthood: becoming an world changer; learning martial arts; being able to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix; getting rich from inventing something like Velcro™ so we don’t have any money worries (or shoe tying issues ever again…the list goes on and on!


I want to leave you with a final thought: if you want your children to be good humans and also follow their heart, lead the way by setting the example. Show them that there is no greater satisfaction than pursuing your calling with passion and purpose while living impeccably in family. You will be proud and full of joy when they follow suit!

The Power and Pleasure of Solitude

The world is a busy place. At work and at home, we are constantly surrounded by people: colleagues, family members, and friends. But despite our tendency to fill our lives with people and activities, some of the most rewarding experiences come from spending time alone—whether it’s meditating, taking a quiet walk, or simply sitting in silence.


In this article we will explore the benefits of solitude: why you should practice it yourself and how you can do so even when you’re surrounded by people. We’ll also cover what happens when we don’t have time for solitude (hint: it’s not good), as well as practical ways to incorporate more solitude in your life without making drastic changes like quitting your job or moving out of town. So grab some tea (or coffee) and read on!

Solitude allows you to regain your sensitivity to your heart and life and allows you to see the beauty of the world around you again.

Solitude is the ability to be alone with yourself. It’s a time when you can regain your sensitivity to your heart and life, and allows you to see the beauty of the world around you again. Solitude helps you reconnect with Source energy, regain perspective on yourself and life, find purpose in what you do for others, and experience deeper levels of love within yourself and for others.

Solitude can be intimidating but can also be an opportunity to know yourself deeply and connect with the ground of being – Source energy.

Solitude can be intimidating but can also be an opportunity to know your deepest heart and connect with your Source. It is important to remember that solitude is not a state in which you are alone, but rather a state of being aware of yourself and your surroundings simultaneously.

Solitude allows us to BE with ourselves, to attend to and understand our thoughts and the field these arise out of, and to be with our mind emotions with compassion. Knowing who we are by spending time alone gives us clarity about what we want for ourselves and the world and how we want to show up in relationship.

Solitude gives us a daily opportunity to reconnect with clarity in our lives; it helps us move past distractions so that we can focus on what matters most in life: love, life, and making a difference.

Solitude is essential in order for a man to gauge how he is moving towards his true Self – the keystone in the process of self-actualization.

The process of self-actualization is an ongoing, lifelong journey that starts by looking within. This involves finding and following your authentic voice and doing what you love to do. It also requires a level of courage, fortitude and conviction in order for you to be able to follow the path that feels right for you while moving towards your true Self.

The only way this can happen is if you have time alone so that you can assess where you stand right now and where you want to go in life.

This means having some quiet time every day where there are no distractions or interruptions so that you can truly listen inside yourself while looking at the world around with fresh eyes and an open mind.

Be aware of your resistances and fears.

As you begin to practice solitude, be aware of your resistances and fears. You may find that the mind resists being alone. It may fear not having a purpose or managing itself well in its own company. It may fear not being enough on its own merits and needs validation from other people to feel affirmed; this is an especially common issue for people who have been raised in families where they were taught to be “good” and “nice” at all times. In these cases, it’s important to recognize that our minds are often more comfortable with external validation than self-reflection because our internal voices are often harsh or critical.

In order to counter these types of resistance and fears as we learn how to enjoy solitude, we can make a conscious effort to remind ourselves that spending time alone gives us an opportunity for self-reflection—a chance for us understand ourselves better so we can grow as individuals instead of remaining static beings who never change over time.

How to begin your own journey toward solitude.

Start small. You don’t need a weekend trip or a retreat to the woods to reap the benefits of solitude (more on this later). It can be as simple as taking some time for yourself in your own home, or even just sitting quietly for several minutes in the morning with an open mind and heart and no agenda.

You’ll know when you’ve truly been present to your Self if you feel refreshed and renewed after the practice, rather than drained or anxious. Ask yourself: “Did my body feel lighter? Did my mind calm down? Was I able to let go of distracting thoughts?” If so, then congratulations! You’ve made progress toward experiencing more moments like these in your life on an ongoing basis.

Self-compassion is everything when it comes to getting comfortable being alone with ourselves—and that includes being gentle with yourself as well as others around us who may not understand why we’re going out into nature every day instead of socializing with them at parties (you know who they are). We can’t expect our friends and family members who depend on us to understand why suddenly it’s important for us to be alone; so no matter how long it takes before someone else understands why being alone isn’t bad anymore (or ever), there will always be plenty other people around us who do get where we’re coming from—and those relationships matter just as much too!


Solitude is a powerful tool that can help you get to know yourself, live in the present moment, and find a deeper meaning in your life. It can also be scary because it requires us to face our fears, frustrations, and challenges and to expose ourselves to what we think will hurt us (like being alone). But if we take the time to do so, we’ll discover that solitude is actually something that gives us strength rather than weakness. It allows us to connect with ourselves on an intimate level which is essential for living a meaningful life.