The Pain of Being the Elephant

I am an elephant in the room. I’m not the only one, but it feels like it sometimes. Those who matter feel this and quietly hurt inside. We’re all standing around, wondering what to do with ourselves. It’s never easy being the elephant—there’s a lot of baggage and expectations attached to such heavy animals—but it’s also surprisingly empowering and freeing! Here are some ways being an elephant has been both liberating and painful:

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When you are the Elephant in the Room and it hurts.

Being the elephant in the room is painful. It’s excruciatingly difficult to stand by and watch as others make their dreams come true, while you are left standing still. You feel as though your dreams are being stolen from you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Like you’re suffocating from within. You know that if only you had the courage to step into your dreams, it would all be different; but something inside of yourself holds back from doing so.

The pain of “what could have been” never stops hurting. It is always there lurking behind everything else you do like some dark shadow just waiting for its chance to come out into the light once again and remind you that it hasn’t gone away yet…

I am all my dreams and unrealized potential, all my unfulfilled secret desires.

This can be difficult. Letting go of a dream is one of the hardest things we humans ever have to do. It’s hard to let go of your dreams because they’re part of who you are as a person: they define who you are and what makes you special, unique and special in this world, and it’s hard to give them up.

But sometimes, letting go is necessary in order for other things to happen — like when you see someone who has their heart set on something or if there aren’t enough resources available or time available for all the different things they want to have or get done every day.

If it were possible for us all to just do everything at once without any sacrifices whatsoever (even though it isn’t), then maybe everyone would be happy with what they’re doing with their lives because maybe then no one would feel like anyone had gotten more than them out of life. But that’s not how life works — there aren’t enough resources for everyone so some people end up getting more than others; some people get more opportunities than others; some people even get chance after chance after chance while others don’t even get one shot! And when someone gets so much more than another person does — whether consciously or unconsciously — resentment can build up inside until eventually they either explode or collapse into their own universe where they seem to have more control (and where nothing ever changes).

Being aware of your unlived life is a kind of existential pain all its own.

Being the elephant is a kind of pain that you can never escape. The pull to all that you can become, all that you could have done and do still, is always there. Even when it’s not in focus, it’s still there. It’s like an itch in your mind that lurks just below your awareness but never quite goes away. The only way out of this feeling is to accept it fully and let it inform every aspect of your life.

When people feel this existential pain for the first time, they often go through stages similar to grieving: denial (I don’t want this), anger (why are we stuck here?), bargaining (how can we get out?) and depression (what else could go wrong?). These stages are natural responses as we learn how to live with our own nature as elephants—and they are essential steps if we are ever going to come out on top as individuals or as a species with any degree of wisdom or grace at all

It’s like being assailed by a loud chorus of what-ifs.

You may not be able to escape the chorus of what-ifs. You can’t successfully silence it, but you can ignore it for a while if you try hard enough. This can lead to filling that empty space insideWhen we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls.When we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls.When we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls.When we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls.When we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls.When we’re in the midst of our career, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—and begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s why we have to take time off—to remind ourselves of who we really are, or who we may want to be. As artists, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we should use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that inspire our souls. with alcohol or drugs, relationships or sex, or work. The alternative is the pain of being an elephant, which is not something I think anyone wants for themselves or others.

Just because you haven’t done something yet doesn’t mean you can’t.

Your life is yours to live. You can be as big or small as you want, and no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

The decisions we make are often based on what we think is possible at the time—and while this may be necessary in order to survive, it doesn’t mean that we have to stay in our current situation forever. We can always change our priorities, start something new and go back to something we left behind (or do something better), even if that means taking risks that could potentially lead to failure. The most important thing is not being afraid of trying new things because there will always be a chance for learning and improvement along the way!

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When we’re in the midst of our career and/or rasing a family, it’s easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of everyday life—we begin to forget about the dreams that got us where we are today. That’s when we have to take time off or simply create space in our daily goings on—to remind ourselves of who we really are and who we may want to be. As leaders, creators, whatever label you choose, in addition to working at getting “anxiously engaged,” we must use our time away from the rat-race to recapture the things that depply inspire our souls.

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Words for Hard Times

The world is a difficult and complicated place, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. As a result, many people are looking for encouragement to help them get through the day. This is understandable; we all want to feel like we can make a difference in the world. But what if we have lost hope? What if there’s nothing we can do about the state of things? Well then that just means we’re going to need more encouragement than ever before!

Through your disciplines, be gentle with yourself.

When the times get tough, it’s easy to get caught up in our own heads and forget what’s at stake. We can lose sight of our goals and become so discouraged that we stop trying altogether. But this is not the time for giving up—it’s a time for patience and rebuilding, so that we may endure. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to fail; give yourself permission to be imperfect; give yourself permission to be human. And when all else fails, take some time out, close your eyes and breathe deeply until you feel better.

Nothing will work unless you do.

It is true that you are the only one who can make things happen in your life. And no matter how much you want something to happen, if you don’t do anything about it then it won’t work out for you.

You have to take responsibility for your life and keep going—even when things get hard or uncomfortable. This may mean retreating to your couch for some time or reacing out for help. You have to persevere through whatever comes at you with a positive attitude – trudge the road to happy destiny; otherwise, nothing you want will happen.

However, while it is up to only YOU (and no one else) to make things happen in YOUR life, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people around who love and care about you enough to help out when they can! You can always ask for help so that everyone involved has an better time getting through their problems together as a team rather than being alone on their own separate paths with no support system whatsoever…

Take care of yourself.

We may live in an era of excess and gluttony, but the truth is that our bodies are still subject to the laws of nature. It’s only natural that we feel worn out when things get hard—it’s a sign that your body is trying to tell you something.

So take care of yourself! Eat well, exercise regularly, sleep well, and meditate whenever possible. Be kind to yourself during these difficult times—you’ll be glad you did later on down the line.

When you’re confused and don’t know the way, trust.

When you’re puzzled and don’t know the way, trust.

Trust yourself, your friends and family. Trust in the universe and what it has put in your path for a reason. Trust that you are on the right path and when you get there, you’ll know it.

Trust is about being confident of something without knowing for certain why or even how much truth there is to it; it’s about believing that things will work out well because they usually do.

Your defeats hold the power for you to know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can stand again

• You may encounter many defeats, but you must not stay defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are and what you truly want, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.
• Be humble and confident at the same time. Stop letting fear prevent you from doing what needs to be done; learn from mistakes; move forward with confidence in yourself and others around you who care about your success (they’re out there).

Words of encouragement

• You are not alone.
• Yes, you can do it.
• You are strong enough.
• You are loved and supported by the Universe and people who want to witness you thrive.
• You are a survivor! The strength that you have shown thus far, even if it may not seem like much to you now, is quite impressive and respectable; I commend your resilience in all of your hard times and trust that you will stand in your power soon!

Conclusion

We often find ourselves in challenging situations. These words can be the light to help you find peace and encouragement. Keep moving forward my friend!

When Personal Development Becomes Dangerous

Like many people, I have struggled with self-development. It’s an important topic for me because self-development has had a significant impact on my life and relationships. Over the years, I’ve been introduced to many different types of self-development, from personal coaching and therapy to men’s work and 12 step programs. I have also spent thousands of dollars on books, products, and programs about how to improve myself and build my future. What I learned from all this is that self-development can be dangerous – but only if you lack a balanced approach!

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1. Self-development and mutuality are not the same thing.

• Self-development is a personal journey, whereas mutuality is a social process. While there are many ways to go about it, self-development can include things like meditation, fintess, therapy and introspection; activities that work towards developing ourselves as individuals. Mutuality involves being open to the perspectives of others—a practice that helps build sustainable communities.
• Self-development can be used as an excuse for avoiding dealing with other people. If you’re not ready to meet someone new or you don’t want to deal with your family members this weekend (or ever), saying “But I’m in the middle of some important soul searching!” might make you feel better than admitting that you just don’t want to be around anyone else right now.
• It’s okay if some parts of our lives feel deeply personal and private—but we should never use our own emotions as an excuse for avoiding relationships with other people when they matter most (and they always do).

2. Self-development can discourage solidarity.

The second reason why personal development can be dangerous is because it does not encourage us to cultivate our sense of solidarity with others. Often, when people who are interested in self-development ask: “How do I achieve my personal goals?” The answer they get from their mentors is: “By working hard and making sacrifices.” But if we have a goal that is not aligned with helping someone else (say, becoming rich), then shouldn’t we first ask ourselves: “What benefit will this bring?” The answer is probably none or at best limited.

So here’s the problem – many times when people pursue their own interests at the expense of others’ interests, it leads them down a path where they lose their connection with other human beings and become isolated from themselves and others around them. This isolation can lead to disconnection from your desired reality which can be dangerous because it makes you vulnerable to swlf-deception and manipulating others.

3. Self-development can be driven by self-hatred,

Self-hatred is a complicated thing, and it’s easier to point fingers at others than to look inward. It can be tempting to think that the solution is simply “fixing” yourself—to fix your flaws and become someone who you don’t hate anymore. That might sound like great motivation, but it’s not so simple.

The problem with focusing on self-hatred as an impetus for personal development is that doing so will only result in more self-hatred if it doesn’t work out as planned. If you spend hours upon hours trying to find out why you keep repeating the same patterns in relationship and howto be a better partner, you could end up feeling worse about yourself after all that effort because nothing changed! Or even worse: maybe you did realte better to your partner—and now you’ve lost track of your personal goals or stopped your self-care habits! Now what do you do?

4. Self-development can be self-defeating,

Self-defeating behaviors can range from self-sabotaging and self-destructive to self-hatred, pity, idealization, denial and indulgence. These are the shadow side of personal development: things we don’t want to see in ourselves but have no control over.

The danger is that self-development becomes a way to avoid doing the hard work we really need to do in order not only become more effective but also happier.

Instead of facing our inner demons directly—which seems too scary—we start trying out new tools or reading more books or taking more courses or making new friends or changing our diet or exercise regime because we think these things will help us change for the better.

But if you try a particular tool for improving yourself for long enough, what will happen? You’ll likely get bored with it because it hasn’t produced any real change in your life yet; you’ll feel guilty about spending so much time on this one thing when there are still so many other things left undone; you’ll tell yourself: “I’m going through all this effort for nothing.” Or worse: “What am I doing wrong?”

5. Self-development can be narcissistic

When you are in the midst of self-development and you’re going through a rough time, it’s important to remember that it’s not all about you. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to improve yourself. But there is something potentially dangerous about the way we romanticize our own growth and progress.

We love the idea of personal development because it comes from within ourselves. We are doing this for ourselves—and who doesn’t want to be their own best friend? But when we take our desire for self-improvement too far (as in #4), then personal development can become narcissistic and self-absorbed.

Self hatred drives other people away from us and prevents them from seeing what they have to offer others and the world at large; meanwhile, self-defeating behaviors (like refusing help) make us less likely to grow into who we want to become or accomplish our goals.

6. Self-development can be an addiction to feel good emotions and a fear of feel bad emotions, and therefore result in avoidance of personal reflection, taking responsibility and accountability and action to change destructive behaviors.

It’s important to distinguish between self-development for the purposes of personal growth, and self-development that is based on avoidance of feeling bad emotions.

If you’re doing it for the former, then you’re probably fine. If you’re doing it for the latter, then there’s a good chance that this will lead to problems in your life.

A lot of people think that they need more positive emotions in their lives and avoid negative ones—which means they try to create positive situations at all times and avoid activities that may elicit negative feelings (because those are bad). They also focus on what went wrong when they don’t get what they want or how other people upset them—and spend less time reflecting on themselves. This kind of approach can sometimes become an addiction because it feels good to feel happy!

We need to care for ourselves but not at the expense of others or at the expense of our ability to recognize our weaknesses

Self-development is not the same as self-care. Instead of making sure that you look after yourself, self-development can be driven by a hatred of oneself. This can manifest in different ways:

• A hatred of one’s own body and an obsession with looking after it
• A hatred of one’s own emotions, leading to constant suppression or compartmentalization (not feeling emotions fully)
• A hatred of one’s own mind, leading to constant mental gymnastics and overthinking things (not trusting your own thoughts)

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If this article hit home I invite you to allow yourself compassion for yourself and to find a kinder, gentler way. What I’ve come to see is that many of us who are interested in personal development are also interested in helping humanity, which is admirable. However, if we don’t recognize when self-development becomes dangerous for ourselves and others, then we may end up hurting ourselves, those we love, and those we’re trying to help. In the spirit of the Platinum Rule, “Treat yourself as you would treat other people. You cannot give what you do not have“.

Fitness as a Crucible

Fitness can be a crucible. It can help you develop the characteristics that connect you to your highest self.

Crucible

A crucible is a place of intense heat. It’s a place where metal can be tested and strengthened, or people can be forged into something more resilient and valuable. A crucible is also an environment of great endurance and discipline—the kind needed to survive in the wild, or to pass one of life’s tests you never thought you’d have to take. In this way, the crucible works like any other crucible: it’s about change and growth; about learning and becoming stronger than ever before.

And yet there’s another aspect of this metaphor that makes it even more fitting for fitness challenge: The idea that going through something difficult—even torture—can make us better people. We want our bodies to get stronger and fitter, fast, and flexible; but we also want our minds to become tougher in resolve against adversity (or at least less skittish about discomfort), more clear in our efforts, and firmly present to all life has to offer. We want our character to be sound as well, so that when life throws us curveballs we’ll be able to hit them out of the ballpark.

Endurance

Endurance is the ability to continue on despite adversity. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and that everyone faces challenges. Everyone suffers. When you’re going through a difficult time, it’s easy to get discouraged and give up before you’ve even started. That’s why it’s so important to keep your eye on the prize: what do you want out of life? Why are you doing this? If there’s something in particular that motivates you—a dream or goal—think about what it takes for someone else who has already achieved their dream or goal. The more specific these thoughts are, the better they will serve as fuel for endurance in your own quest for success.

We all have times when we feel challenged by our circumstances and tempted by excuses not to move forward with our goals because of those challenges; however, if we focus on positive motivation rather than negative thoughts about ourselves or others around us (or worse yet distractions from ourselves), we can use endurance as an instrument of strength when faced with adversity instead of allowing it become a weakness which prevents us from achieving our goals–and enjoying life along with them!

Discipline

• We often think of discipline as a punishment or something that requires extreme will power.
• The word “discipline” has its roots in Latin, meaning to “instruct, educate, or explain“
• Discipline is the act of teaching your mind and body, in a way that helps you achieve the results you want. It’s not always easy to keep yourself aligned with your desires when it comes to fitness, but by focusing on discipline, you can stay on track with your goals.
• For example: if you want to lose weight and get fit, then choosing discipline is going to be essential in helping you reach that goal. You need to make sure that each day you do something active (such as go for a run or do yoga), eat healthy foods (like vegetables) instead of junk food (like candy bars), take care of yourself around meal times so that don’t skip meals or overeat during them—all things which show self-discipline!
• In other words: having good discipline means knowing what works best for YOU when it comes down to achieving success within an area such as fitness!

Mindfulness

The practice of mindfulness is a mental state of awareness that can be cultivated through meditation. It’s about paying attention to what you are doing in the present moment, rather than thinking about what has already happened or things that might happen in the future.

When you are mindful, you are fully engaged in whatever it is that you are doing—you stop judging yourself and instead appreciate your body for what it is capable of doing right now. Mindfulness allows you to appreciate all the small moments that make up an activity; it takes away any distractions so that you can focus on your workout as well as how your body feels during each exercise or movement. It is how we master the body and then the mind.

Integrity

The greatest thing that you can do for your esteem is to be honest. This means being honest with those around you, but more importantly with yourself. Honesty is the first step in your journey toward integrity, and it’s a trait that will serve you well throughout life.

Honesty means being true to your word and when you break it to rectify that by renogotiating the terms you make with yourself. We often make excuses for our failures and mistakes; these are signs of being out of integrity because we aren’t taking responsibility for our actions or decisions, no matter the circumstances.

The integrity of a ship’s hull is what keeps it afloat and moving safely to it’s destination. Integrity also applies to fitness: if you say you’re going to work out five times per week but only makes it four times, then this is a break in integrity.

Authenticity

An important part of the fitness journey is being authentic, true to yourself and others. When you’re in a constant state of flux, it can be difficult to know who you are. But if you can find your footing in the midst of all that change, there’s no doubt that you will emerge stronger and better than ever before.

Authenticity is not just a good thing; it’s essential for success in any endeavor, especially fitness and weight loss. If we’re not honest with ourselves about what we want or need out of life, then our goals become less attainable as time goes on. And when we mask our true selves from others—or worse yet lie about them—we end up wasting valuable time on things that don’t matter at all!

Fitness can be a crucible for developing these character traits.

A crucible is a place of great stress and difficulty, from which one emerges stronger and better than before. It’s the furnace where gold is refined, or the fire that burns away impurities to reveal something purer at its core. When we face difficult challenges (job, loss, divorce or separation, health issues) in life, we are forced to either transform and level up our game or persih to our current way of being and doing.

If you think about it, this metaphor makes sense: fitness is hard work! It requires dedication and discipline, but also rewards us with strength of body and mind that come from facing our own limitations and pushing past them into new territory. We gain confidence that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to—and isn’t that what success in life is all about?

Conclusion

Fitness can be a crucible for developing these character traits. The more you train, the more you push yourself and test your limits, the more likely it is that you’ll develop some of these traits. It’s at our edge that we grow. It doesn’t happen overnight—in fact, it might take years for some people to develop them fully—but with time and inspired effort, anyone will become stronger in mind, body and spirit through fitness.

Mindfulness in The Wake of The Pandemic

Mindfulness is a powerful and ancient tool that can be used to help us navigate the stress and strain of modern life. By being mindful, we become more aware of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors in any given situation. The ability to be present with ourselves and is something we all need to cultivate as a way to improve our lives and relationships with others.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

Mindfulness can be practiced by anyone at any time and anywhere—sitting quietly in meditation; walking our dogs; washing dishes; taking a shower; driving down the street—and it’s particularly helpful for those struggling with stress, anxiety or depression.

Why is mindfulness important?

Mindfulness is about being more aware of your thoughts and feelings. It helps you to be less reactive and more proactive, which means that you make better decisions because you are fully present in the moment rather than letting other people’s reactions influence your actions.

In fact, mindfulness helps us to relate better to our loved ones because it allows us to see things from their perspective without judgement or criticism. This is especially important when we suffer from anxiety or depression—when we’re mindful, we won’t let negative thoughts spiral out of control as easily as before! In addition, it also reduces stress levels by keeping our minds clear so that we can focus on what matters most at any given time (i.e., not beating ourselves up over past mistakes).

Finally: mindfulness gives us an opportunity to appreciate life more fully by recognizing how precious this gift truly is!

How do I practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a practice, so it takes time to master. You may have heard about people being able to meditate for hours without any effort at all. That’s not the goal of mindfulness! Instead, it’s about being aware of what’s happening in the moment. You can practice mindfulness anywhere whether you’re on a mountaintop or sitting in traffic waiting for the light to turn green. It doesn’t matter if you mess up or forget to be mindful sometimes; every next moment is an opportunity to try again!

If I can offer one piece of advice for practicing mindfulness: Don’t try too hard (or at least don’t let your ego get involved). The magic comes in your alignement with your deepest self. If your mind wanders off into thoughts about work, family or anything else unrelated to whatever is going on right now—and this happens often—don’t beat yourself up over it! This is part of the practice. Just gently bring your attention back to what matters most right now and continue on as if nothing happened

The Takeaway

Mindfulness is a practice that can help you with stress (physical, mental, and emotional), anxiety, depression and other challenges to your mental health. It can be practiced in many ways including meditation, a movement or fitness practice or simply being aware of your surroundings.

Mindfulness is a valuable skill to have. To reap the rewards from it and to elevate yourself to your best, it requires constant practice and dedication in order for it to be effective. You may or may not see results right away, but don’t give up! Keep going until you are present and feel like your mind is clearer and more focused on what matters most in the moment – which is where you will find your joy and all things good!